Behind the Screen: How FOMO Shapes Teen Behaviour Online

Dr Megha Desai Shah (Consultant Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist, Ahmedabad)

In today's digital age, everyone, from grandparents and parents to kids, is well-versed with mobile phones and various gadgets. It has changed how we socialise and interact with people around us.

"Did you see her post? I wasn't even invited to that, I'm a loser."

"I don't want to celebrate my birthday this year, no one is going to bring gifts and make a big deal out of it like they did for Sameer."

Most of the parents of teens must have heard these statements at some point. It may seem very trivial to adults, but, for young ones, this could be very shattering and devastating. FOMO is real and in this digital age, almost impossible to ignore.

FOMO is very common in people aged 18 to 33. According to various surveys, about two-thirds of people in this age group experience it on regular basis. Many do not realise that they are experiencing it, even though they feel stressed or worried about what they see on social media, which is a symptom of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).

FOMO stands for "Fear of Missing Out", it refers to the anxiety and discomfort that someone feels when they think they’re missing out on fun or meaningful experiences.

Lets understand the psychology behind the social media usage and FOMO:

1. Social Validation / Need for Approval: Teens often seek social validation and approval from their peers. Social media platforms provide a constant stream of feedback in the form of likes, comments, and shares, contributing to a sense of social acceptance.

2. Identity Formation: Adolescence is a crucial period for identity formation, and social media becomes a platform for teens to compare themselves with others. FOMO arises when they perceive their peers enjoying experiences that they are not part of, leading to feelings of inadequacy.

3. Instant Gratification: Social media activities trigger the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. The instant gratification from receiving positive feedback on posts or messages can create a habitual cycle of seeking more engagement.

4. Selective Sharing: Social media often presents a curated version of reality, showcasing the positive aspects of people's lives. Teens may experience FOMO when comparing their everyday experiences with the seemingly more exciting and glamorous lives portrayed by their peers online.

5. Coping Mechanism: Escape and Distraction: For some teens, social media serves as a coping mechanism to escape real-world stressors or challenges. FOMO can emerge when they perceive others as having a better or more carefree life.

If you find that you frequently compare yourself to others in your daily life and place a lot of importance on those comparisons, you're at high risk for feeling worse after using social media.

FOMO leads to emergence of unhealthy behavioural patterns:

1. The constant worrying about what other people are doing only causes teens to lose out on more and more of their own lives. This leads to a loss of sense of self, low self-esteem, and constantly feeling restless and uneasy.

2. Teens begin developing an increased need for privacy and the need for independence. In this process, kids may push boundaries and may react strongly if parents or guardians reinforce limits.

3. They may spend less time with family and more time with friends. They’ll become more concerned with their appearance and peer pressure may peak at this age.

4. It also leads to distracted learning as well as distracted driving. Teens with high levels of FOMO were more likely to check their social media feeds during class or while driving. They were also more likely to text and drive.

5. Teens also feel pressured to keep up with friends or celebrities they follow on social media. They may also have lower levels of satisfaction with their lives, which makes them especially vulnerable to other mental health concerns like anxiety or depression.

6. Excessive screen time leads to altered sleep pattern as well as eating pattern and at times develops neglect for self-care.

How to deal with FOMO as teenagers:

• Understand and accept your feelings

• Keep yourself distracted from social media

• Digital detox

• Plan in-person outings/ activities with your friends

• Focus on building your confidence and practice gratitude

Some useful talking points for parents:

• Talk to teens about their feelings and emotions. Seek Professional help if needed.

• Encourage them to engage in extracurricular activities/ hobbies more often.

• Plan "family time" where everyone get-together and spend quality time.

• Compliment your teen and celebrate their efforts and accomplishments.

• Respect your teen’s need for privacy.

• Encourage your teen to get enough sleep and exercise, and to eat healthy.

More then ever, Digital literacy is very important for all of us. Lets continue to learn more about it. Dont shy away from seeking help from experts to understand more and help yourself and those around you better.